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Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

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Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.


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Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.

30 review for Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

  1. 5 out of 5

    Narmeen

    ---I got a digital arc for this book from NetGalley As I started reading this book I began feeling triggered by the criteria of what makes a relationship a co-dependant one and the more check lists I ticked off, the more uncertain I became about this book and what it was implying. You see I thought it was yet another book about individualistic ideology where any acts of service I do for the sake of God are seen as me being in an unhealthy attachment to the creation of God. However, as I kept read ---I got a digital arc for this book from NetGalley As I started reading this book I began feeling triggered by the criteria of what makes a relationship a co-dependant one and the more check lists I ticked off, the more uncertain I became about this book and what it was implying. You see I thought it was yet another book about individualistic ideology where any acts of service I do for the sake of God are seen as me being in an unhealthy attachment to the creation of God. However, as I kept reading more, this realisation dawned on me. If I am some of the things that are in this list of 'what makes one co-dependant' and they aren't affecting me or anyone around me in a negative or toxic way then that means I overcame those past challenges which once were my weaknesses but are now things I have converted to positive attributes. This change occurred in my life as I learned more about understanding our psyche from an Islamic perspective. Psychology and Islam for me are not mutually exclusive. Once I got over my insecurities I actually learned a lot about boundary setting from Terri Cole. I heard this quote (I don't know where I heard/read it but a google search tells me its by Kristen Neff) which changed my approach towards this book. "Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you're good enough, self-compassion asks what's good for you." I am what I tell myself I am, if I stop seeing myself as the victim then I can go ahead and apply all the productive tools Terri Cole suggests in setting boundaries. Since having read the book I've noticed I'm more honest with my boundaries and I don't feel as guilty as I would have before, about setting them. I can still have boundaries and be in service to people, these 2 principles can go hand in hand, you just have to be smart about managing expectations. My biggest problem with boundaries is giving certain people what they want and then resenting them for not allowing me with an opportunity to say no to them. Terri Cole says, "You have an obligation to yourself that no one gets beyond the velvet rope without your express permission" which is fair and true but my problems are rigid boundaries. People do get beyond the velvet rope I have set, I cannot control people and then I feel like I've betrayed myself or am a "weak" personality which is what led to this boundary breach. The reality is this doesn't make me weak rather I need to develop a more accepting and flexible attitude by not expecting people to constantly meet my needs, or there wont be peace in my inner-self or in my relationships. Terri Cole does a great job of connecting to her readers, she takes us through many examples where we can see ourselves in some aspects of these stories and find an alternative way of looking at our "problems". My sister introduced me to Terri Cole's youtube channel a while ago and I have been consuming her work since, this book was an enlightening read. I would recommend it. I had a bumpy ride with this one, hence the 3 stars but I think the negative association I had with some of the elements has more to do with my understanding and expectations of her work, rather than the credibility of her experiences.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Lisa

    Great book on boundaries! Review will be up on my blog later this week - www.therapybooknook.com/blog Great book on boundaries! Review will be up on my blog later this week - www.therapybooknook.com/blog

  3. 5 out of 5

    Angie

    This is a book aimed at women, because it seems (from personal experience) that women have a harder time setting boundaries. Right from an early age, many girls are taught to serve and to please, to accept that boys and men are more important and to put them first. So we grow up as people pleasers. Meanwhile boys are taught to get out in the world, to be adventurous. They set their own boundaries. it's no wonder then that grown women struggle to set boundaries. Even now, women are told that they c This is a book aimed at women, because it seems (from personal experience) that women have a harder time setting boundaries. Right from an early age, many girls are taught to serve and to please, to accept that boys and men are more important and to put them first. So we grow up as people pleasers. Meanwhile boys are taught to get out in the world, to be adventurous. They set their own boundaries. it's no wonder then that grown women struggle to set boundaries. Even now, women are told that they can multi-task and men can't: therefore they can do more, juggling busy jobs, kids, and housework, whereas men can only focus on one thing. Whoever invented this lie (and I'm pretty sure it was a man!) needs a medal for "Excellence in Marketing" - selling women the story that they can do it all and have it all, leaving women exhausted trying to please everyone and themselves; while men get off lightly because they (poor things!) can't multi-task. Leaving them more time to do what they want to do. This book addresses the fact that many women struggle to set boundaries, and gives you ideas on how to challenge your boundaries - not just the ones in your head: but how to challenge the boundaries that you have either set yourself with others or they have set for you and you have complied with. The author has personal experience of boundary issues, as well as being a psychotherapist and realising that most of her clients have boundary issues. Even if you think you set all of your own boundaries, you may have your eyes opened by this book - there are probably plenty of boundaries that you didn't set, and if you want them the change, by the end of this book you will have ideas of how to do it.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie Affinito

    This week, I savored Boundary Boss by Terri Cole. Normally, I am a pretty swift reader, but this book is FILLED with opportunities for self reflection and well, work, so I spent a luxurious amount of time reading it. This book spoke directly to my heart and Terri Cole’s no-nonsense, conversational and heartful voice felt like I was having a conversation with a dear, and very real, friend. I don’t have enough space to share what I’ve learned here, but here was my BIG take-away: Boundaries matter. This week, I savored Boundary Boss by Terri Cole. Normally, I am a pretty swift reader, but this book is FILLED with opportunities for self reflection and well, work, so I spent a luxurious amount of time reading it. This book spoke directly to my heart and Terri Cole’s no-nonsense, conversational and heartful voice felt like I was having a conversation with a dear, and very real, friend. I don’t have enough space to share what I’ve learned here, but here was my BIG take-away: Boundaries matter. And most important, the boundaries we create for OURSELVES matter most. In the past, I’ve put too much focus on the boundaries outside of my control, trying to change everything and everyone around me instead of doing the hard work inside my head and heart to truly change from within. But after reading, I can’t go back and can feel a tangible shift in my energy for what’s to come. I highly recommend everyone read this.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Milo's Library

    I want to thank NeGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and advaced copy of this title. Such a healing book. If i had the opportunity to meet the author i would hug her so tight and i would thank her with all my heart for creating this beautiful, mind opening and healing book. It took me some time to finish it because of how deep it touched my soul, but it was all worth it. This is a book i know i will come back to anytime i have a problem with an emotion or a situation, and find guidanc I want to thank NeGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and advaced copy of this title. Such a healing book. If i had the opportunity to meet the author i would hug her so tight and i would thank her with all my heart for creating this beautiful, mind opening and healing book. It took me some time to finish it because of how deep it touched my soul, but it was all worth it. This is a book i know i will come back to anytime i have a problem with an emotion or a situation, and find guidance about the reaction i must take in order to maintain my mental health. You helped me in the darkest phase of my life, thank you Terri

  6. 4 out of 5

    Charity

    Thank you NetGalley for giving me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an review. Didn't realize what I read is this book is what I needed to hear. This book is full of stories and examples of everyday clients that come into her office that answers to some of their problems is learning to set boundaries. That a simple to no and not feeling ashamed it can give a person power that someone have been trapped into people pleasing or even co dependency. She gives a lot of tips and advice on how Thank you NetGalley for giving me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an review. Didn't realize what I read is this book is what I needed to hear. This book is full of stories and examples of everyday clients that come into her office that answers to some of their problems is learning to set boundaries. That a simple to no and not feeling ashamed it can give a person power that someone have been trapped into people pleasing or even co dependency. She gives a lot of tips and advice on how to set boundaries and overcome the setbacks of people crossing your boundaries. This was a refreshing read and certainly made me rethink my boundaries.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Lino Verde

    After intense reading about self help books in the recent years, I now barely learn new concepts when I pick up a self help book. But this book is amazing! - [ ] Inner Child. When you are young and your need is not met, you are likely to make a decision from that 5-year child’s perspective. Try to attend your inner child. - [ ] 3 Rs — recognize, Release and respond - [ ] Boundaries: physical, material, and emotional - [ ] high functioning codependence: the need to fix and help others to feel award After intense reading about self help books in the recent years, I now barely learn new concepts when I pick up a self help book. But this book is amazing! - [ ] Inner Child. When you are young and your need is not met, you are likely to make a decision from that 5-year child’s perspective. Try to attend your inner child. - [ ] 3 Rs — recognize, Release and respond - [ ] Boundaries: physical, material, and emotional - [ ] high functioning codependence: the need to fix and help others to feel awarded. - [ ] Perfectionism is different from pursuit of excellence. - [ ] Shadow addiction and secondary gains. When you use alcohol, work, excessive workout to numb yourself and to avoid feeling/dealing your feelings, that’s a shadow addiction. - [ ] Who is on your VIP list? Who are you willing to help whenever? Only those with whom you have mutual respect, and share mutual value. This list can change and you do not need to inform them when they are on/off the list. - [ ] Make proactive boundary plans - [ ] Healthy inner boundary and keep your words to yourself. Four steps of creating boundary 1. be specific about your boundary 2. take stock of yourself (who does this person/situation remind me of? How is this behavior or situation making me feel?) 3. visualize the empowered outcome 4. use direct language. Repeating boundary patterns: - [ ] When your boundary is violated, reflect on these two questions: (1) who do you become when you let the other person cross your boundary? Did you become 4-year old you? (2) who does the other person remind you of? (2) Does the other person who does not respect your boundary remind you of your mom, your sister from childhood? Perhaps you are in this mental cycle that leads you to a repeat boundary violation pattern. Respect your internal boundary. Respect yourself. You cannot betray yourself! Developing a proactive boundary plan! Watch out for boundary destroyer: They disregard other people’s boundary. They feel they are entitled to your time, your attention and your care. and they are not concerned with reciprocity. These people are deeply contentious, reactive, sensitive, controlling and self absorb. Do not apply your boundary rule to them. It is a waste of time to explain boundary to them. Simply show disinterest in them. They may be fall into the cluster-B type personality. They are selfish. Other people matter only to the extend that they can serve their world of view. Their version of reality is the only reality. - [ ] manipulation: flip the scripts, get upset of your small actions (e.g. they yell at you and accused you of lying when you mis told information), invalidate your feelings, - [ ] gaslighting. They know your shame buttons to keep you submissive - [ ] love bombing — they make you to believe they are the true love, and once they believe they have you, they will reject you. - [ ] Reject your feeling. - [ ] Money… they provide money and gifts to control you. - [ ] Acting as if they are helpless. - [ ] Peer pressure. (e.g. pressure for having sex by using families and friends opinions, or bring up statistics ) Observe their behavior. Do not let things slide. Call them out at the scene and see how they react. They may not react well at the scene. If they react well, they might mock you or make fun of you 1-2 days later. They have to change behaviors. Words have to match with behaviors. Try to change plans and see how the other person reacts. For example, if they say that they already reserve dinner at an Italian restaurant, you say you don’t feel about Italian, and suggest to go Japanese restaurant instead. The boundary destroyer would not sit well with the change.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Anne

    Life changing for me. Using Cole's guidelines, I've developed positive ways of stating my boundaries--my needs, desires, and deal breakers; people are listening, and responding positively themselves. Win, win. Life changing for me. Using Cole's guidelines, I've developed positive ways of stating my boundaries--my needs, desires, and deal breakers; people are listening, and responding positively themselves. Win, win.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Shuang

    Not your average boundary book. Lots of examples and actionable suggestions! Very empowering

  10. 4 out of 5

    Kidron Tirey

    I wish I could give this book six out of five stars because Cole has written a magnificent literary aid for self-awareness/governance all women should read. Men similarly would surely benefit from many of Boundary Boss’ pieces of advice and prompts. Self-help books often are all fluff and little substance. That is not the case with this read because the reader is transported through many non-abstract paradigms that clarify best practices — as is for the first time. This book is something one shou I wish I could give this book six out of five stars because Cole has written a magnificent literary aid for self-awareness/governance all women should read. Men similarly would surely benefit from many of Boundary Boss’ pieces of advice and prompts. Self-help books often are all fluff and little substance. That is not the case with this read because the reader is transported through many non-abstract paradigms that clarify best practices — as is for the first time. This book is something one should revisit over and again, tracking notes and personal reflections. Insight gleaned from Boundary Boss has made me a better person.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Sanaa Hyder

    I came across Terri Cole's YouTube channel a few years ago and immediately liked her work. Cole has a no-nonsense style when it comes to imparting advice and educating people about problematic boundaries and communication. And she translates this approach effectively in her writing as well. The book is written in a relatively informal conversational tone (including casual American slang and swear words), potentially making it accessible to the avid as well as the occasional reader. There are cas I came across Terri Cole's YouTube channel a few years ago and immediately liked her work. Cole has a no-nonsense style when it comes to imparting advice and educating people about problematic boundaries and communication. And she translates this approach effectively in her writing as well. The book is written in a relatively informal conversational tone (including casual American slang and swear words), potentially making it accessible to the avid as well as the occasional reader. There are case studies/stories of people from Cole's experience at the start of chapters for the reader to grasp a concept. Throughout, Cole refers to the reader with terms of endearment like 'mama', 'lovebug' and 'beauty'. Right from the first page, she roots for you, inviting you to evaluate your circumstances and relationship dynamics. As a mental health researcher, I was familiar with the idea of boundaries and some of the associated basics. But this book made me think more deeply about what Cole calls your 'basement' and 'boundary blueprint'. I particularly benefited from 'the 3Qs for clarity' and 'the 3Rs — Recognize, Release, Respond'. It is amazing how you can change your response to a situation/person when you realize the odds are not stacked against you. Full disclosure: When I started reading this book, I felt the need to put forth an argument against some of Cole's claims. As a Muslim, I believe in principles such as giving benefit of the doubt, spiritual generosity, making excuses for others and having a good opinion of them and in turn God, having inherent honour and dignity by being a creation of God i.e. human, alleviating the distress of another with the intention to gain reward in the Hereafter, bearing patience in times of difficulty in exchange for expiation of sins, and the list goes on. I made a note of these as I went along and realized a few chapters in that Cole was not dismissing or disregarding my beliefs. She was advocating for my self-protection and self-care. In fact, she agreed with some of my beliefs. She recognized that every person is unique and deserves to be treated with respect and honour. Practising my religion and setting healthy boundaries, the two were not mutually exclusive. Rather, they could co-exist. This meant: I could for example go out of my way to help a distressed family member, if I consciously chose to do so instead of acting in response to a faulty blueprint (read: feeling burdened to help someone while abandoning my own priorities and consequently blaming and resenting the family member for not appreciating my effort to help them). It was a subtle shift in my understanding and behaviour, but an empowering one nevertheless. Having said that, it is definitely tricky to interpret psychotherapeutic advice while also honouring your cultural values, but it's doable. It can indeed allow you to 'live free' as the book title says. Thank you to Terri Cole, for sharing her knowledge with the world. In the current era of overwhelming digital knowledge championing all types of mental health aphorisms, I would recommend taking from credible sources, which include this book.

  12. 5 out of 5

    zhane

    2/5 stars! I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own. I appreciate what the author is trying to do in this book, however, I think they could have done better. I loved how they have guides for us to recognize our boundaries, but their examples took way too much space, and most of the time, I just don't care. I wished this could be more direct to the point and only include examples that really showed when we un 2/5 stars! I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own. I appreciate what the author is trying to do in this book, however, I think they could have done better. I loved how they have guides for us to recognize our boundaries, but their examples took way too much space, and most of the time, I just don't care. I wished this could be more direct to the point and only include examples that really showed when we unconsciously are compromising our boundaries and how are we going to fix that and be more aware whenever that happens. This book goes on and on about what happened to different people and in my opinion, did not present the best examples to impart what they are trying to say to their readers. Throughout the entire reading experience, I felt like I was just here for the tea or the gossip to one's back story instead of learning about how to be aware whenever our boundaries is concerned and how do we nurture healthy boundaries with ourselves and with others.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Hanna

    I discovered Terri Cole through Ariana Grande reposting her videos and this book in her Instagram Stories. I struggle with boundaries a lot and thought why not give her a try and still I didn‘t expect to have as many „WOW... this is actually me“ moments as I did have. Her anecdotes and practical examples throughout the book really helped me recognize patterns that I share and view them from a different perspective. I can only recommend reading this book if you love to help everyone around you bu I discovered Terri Cole through Ariana Grande reposting her videos and this book in her Instagram Stories. I struggle with boundaries a lot and thought why not give her a try and still I didn‘t expect to have as many „WOW... this is actually me“ moments as I did have. Her anecdotes and practical examples throughout the book really helped me recognize patterns that I share and view them from a different perspective. I can only recommend reading this book if you love to help everyone around you but constantly feel used or taken advantage of and you have trouble saying no. Personally, I chose the audio book (which Terri Cole reads herself) since I had an audible credit left. Her voice and reading speed is very calm and comfortable to listen to and I‘m very picky when it comes to audio books as a side note. I will get the physical copy soon to reread and really work on the exercises.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Nikki

    Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole Publisher: Sounds True Genre: Self-Help Publication Date: April 20, 2021 Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole is a self-help guide meant to help set boundaries. I found this to be a very interesting book and think I can use a lot of the suggestions in my life. I would recommend taking your time when reading this book so you can actually do the sel Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole Publisher: Sounds True Genre: Self-Help Publication Date: April 20, 2021 Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole is a self-help guide meant to help set boundaries. I found this to be a very interesting book and think I can use a lot of the suggestions in my life. I would recommend taking your time when reading this book so you can actually do the self-reflection and work suggested. I'm so grateful to Terri Cole, Sounds True, and NetGalley for providing me with a free copy of this ARC ebook in exchange for my honest review.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Joanna

    This book is amazing. I am pretty good with boundaries but I got some great tips about setting boundaries around issues that I thought I had set that found out I had not. Terri Cole writes clearly, concisely, and has great stories. This is a wonderful book if you have any issues surrounding boundaries with your family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers in the street. There are assessments and guided practices to help you. I recommend this book highly. It's probably the best self-help book I This book is amazing. I am pretty good with boundaries but I got some great tips about setting boundaries around issues that I thought I had set that found out I had not. Terri Cole writes clearly, concisely, and has great stories. This is a wonderful book if you have any issues surrounding boundaries with your family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers in the street. There are assessments and guided practices to help you. I recommend this book highly. It's probably the best self-help book I've ever read.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Kristen

    Good book and great tools in the back. I just found too simplistic and not enough real substance and not as clear laid out as times. However, why I did pick this up is childhood issue in a household with a “boundary destroyer” and help for the present day for dealing with these same but amplified issues that are also affecting others. The Boundary Destroyer chapter was SPOT ON, and I can tell she is a very good therapist. However, I was hoping to walk away with more tools. I was just hoping to c Good book and great tools in the back. I just found too simplistic and not enough real substance and not as clear laid out as times. However, why I did pick this up is childhood issue in a household with a “boundary destroyer” and help for the present day for dealing with these same but amplified issues that are also affecting others. The Boundary Destroyer chapter was SPOT ON, and I can tell she is a very good therapist. However, I was hoping to walk away with more tools. I was just hoping to come away with more.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Megan Moir

    Excellent, excellent book on boundaries. I loved the authors no nonsense, straightforward style of writing. The fact that she is a licensed psychotherapist in NYC shines through with her anecdotes about various patients that I found really helpful. I believe I will re-read this book every 6 months for an internal boundary pep talk and tune up since I am very prone to loose boundaries in my life. I would highly recommend adding this book to your self help library!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Jen

    This is a pretty good tool for teaching boundaries. The author is no-nonsense and kind of street level gritty. There is a lot of good help here. However, some readers may find the cursing and “darlin” type language tiring. My recommendation would be to not let that keep you from the helpful aspects of the book. Author is also into meditation/new age. That’s not for me, but the book was still helpful. You really can take what’s helpful and leave the rest, as the author states at the beginning.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Becky L Long

    Audiobook read by the author. Good read. I've been trying to uncover my own boundary issues for several years. I will be revisiting this book several times in the future as I continue to work through my issues. I'm very much looking forward to completing the activities in the bonus section. If only there were a right and wrong answer in life, it would be a lot easier. Audiobook read by the author. Good read. I've been trying to uncover my own boundary issues for several years. I will be revisiting this book several times in the future as I continue to work through my issues. I'm very much looking forward to completing the activities in the bonus section. If only there were a right and wrong answer in life, it would be a lot easier.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Nisha

    Loved this book- the explanation of how to figure out why you’re experiencing challenges was very helpful, and the book had lots of exercises and real life suggestions for how to get to know yourself and kindly set limits. It also mentioned that relationships are a give and take and what healthy boundaries are (not too rigid or too flexible).

  21. 4 out of 5

    Christine

    Slowly worked through this book and implementing it bit by bit. It's a great tool for practically applying boundaries and understanding why you're a boundary disaster. Definitely recommend to anyone struggling with boundaries or even those working in fields where communication is needed, aka everybody ;) Slowly worked through this book and implementing it bit by bit. It's a great tool for practically applying boundaries and understanding why you're a boundary disaster. Definitely recommend to anyone struggling with boundaries or even those working in fields where communication is needed, aka everybody ;)

  22. 4 out of 5

    Fredy

    A great book Terri writes with clarity and in a pragmatic way with practical clear guideline in stating and setting your boundaries. She takes it to a new level. Clayton Micallef A great book Terri writes with clarity and in a pragmatic way with practical clear guideline in stating and setting your boundaries. She takes it to a new level. Clayton Micallef

  23. 4 out of 5

    Joanna

    This book is amazing. I am pretty good with boundaries but I got some great tips about setting boundaries around issues that I thought I had set that found out I had not. Terri Cole writes clearly, concisely, and has great stories. This is a wonderful book if you have any issues surrounding boundaries with your family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers in the street. There are assessments and guided practices to help you. I recommend this book highly. It's probably the best self-help book I This book is amazing. I am pretty good with boundaries but I got some great tips about setting boundaries around issues that I thought I had set that found out I had not. Terri Cole writes clearly, concisely, and has great stories. This is a wonderful book if you have any issues surrounding boundaries with your family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers in the street. There are assessments and guided practices to help you. I recommend this book highly. It's probably the best self-help book I've ever read.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Michelle Marie

    I had a lot of AHA moments in this book which I didn't expect. Right when you think you know what boundaries are and that you have them down you realize there are so many other areas you bend over backwards for people still. I had a lot of AHA moments in this book which I didn't expect. Right when you think you know what boundaries are and that you have them down you realize there are so many other areas you bend over backwards for people still.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Niki Walters

    This book is so fucking simple but at the same time I've never seen the necessary information compiled anywhere else. It balances an honest look at self with others and helped me to feel into what I can stand for and how to speak it. This book is so fucking simple but at the same time I've never seen the necessary information compiled anywhere else. It balances an honest look at self with others and helped me to feel into what I can stand for and how to speak it.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Kipahni

    I was shocked how much I needed this book. As a person with rigid boundaries, I thought I was the bitch'nest of all boundary setters. Turns out rigid boundaries are not good either. This book has great exercises on how to implement boundaries and practice them. I was shocked how much I needed this book. As a person with rigid boundaries, I thought I was the bitch'nest of all boundary setters. Turns out rigid boundaries are not good either. This book has great exercises on how to implement boundaries and practice them.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Nancy

    Nothing new here.

  28. 4 out of 5

    sreedevi

    loved the language and multiple tools

  29. 5 out of 5

    Kelsey Fanelli

    Recommended by Almost 30 podcasts

  30. 5 out of 5

    Jess Macallan

    4.5 stars

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